


Nicotine

by StarryEyedEm



Category: Ratchet & Clank
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryEyedEm/pseuds/StarryEyedEm
Summary: When Ratchet and Clank are ordered to retrieve some intel from Dr. Nefarious' base, the heroes are separated. All goes according to plan, or things derail dangerously. Really, it depends on who you ask. Ratcharious, inspired by an upcoming Nefarious ship week challenge by @weeksofrac on Twitter! This particular fic is for the Day 2 prompt: "In the Lab".
Relationships: Dr. Nefarious/Ratchet
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Nicotine

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "Nicotine", by Panic! At The Disco. The song is explicit, but this version of the fic is not, so I'll leave just the title. Please listen at your own discretion. Suggestive, but not explicit, content ahead!

Nefarious’ fortress is cold, metallic, and illuminated by harsh lights. The lush, green grass that once grew there has long since been burned by the villain’s troops. The ground below the concrete was blown to smithereens and flattened ages ago, to create the perfect plot of land to raise a building worthy enough for the doctor’s plans.

A small squadron of galactic Rangers waits right outside surveillance range, waiting for orders from their sergeant. Said lombax looks towards the valley below like a man on a mission. A mission from the president, no less.

“Alright, guys; today’s the day. We go in, get the data disc, and get out. Quick and painless. If we move fast, and hit em’ hard, they won’t know what’s coming. You guys are gonna clear a path to the building. Clank and I will handle the inside, and you’ll have to make sure no one sneaks through to follow us. Any questions?”

A resounding “No, Sarge” echoes through the platoon.

Their leader nods in confirmation. “Good to hear. Now, let’s move!” Ratchet and Clank lead the assault, guns blazing. The robotic soldiers let out cries; some of excitement for battle, and others of fear mixing with adrenaline.

The doctor scowls at his security cameras, watching as his troopers are mowed down one by one. “How is this possible, Lawrence?! I thought those soldiers were supposed to be top-of-the-line killing machines! How are they so incompetent?!” 

The question is asked, but the doctor already knows the answer. “I believe you know as well as I do, sir, that Ratchet and Clank are the only true threat the Galactic Rangers possess.”

Nefarious growls in frustration at the name, turning away from the cameras. “How can a single squishy and his backpack test me so?”

“I will admit that they are a far more entertaining adversary than Qwark ever was, sir.”

“Qwark is a moronic oaf, and a coward,” the villain agrees. Under synthetic breath, more is uttered. “At least the twink has better banter.”

The butler raises an eyebrow at the mumbling. “Did you say something, sir?”

“I said NOTHING!” Nefarious calms himself, feeling his glitch begin to act up with the sudden outburst. Opening a compartment in his main computer, the doctor twirls the precious data disk between his claws. “Leave me, Lawrence. Take care of their reinforcements, because those two are _mine._ ”

“Very well, sir. I will order your remaining troops to focus on the Rangers. Happy fighting.” The butler quietly leaves the room, attending to his newly given duties.

Ratchet and Clank make it to the entrance, and the robot detaches to hack the door. Positioning his back to the door, the lombax soldier carefully aims his pistol to cover Clank as he works. “How’s that lock coming?”

Green optics scan through the files, expertly gliding through the security system as if it’s second nature. “I am almost through,” he says, his gaze not leaving the screen. “Keep the enemy off of me until I am finished.”

“Can do.” The minutes pass, and the final enemy falls. A chipper beep emits from the small speaker as a green light appears on the door. “Nice going, pal.”

The screen illuminates, settling to show a sharp, crimson-eyed robot on the other side. “So, your moronic forces have finally found my hideout. Took you long enough. But now it means I finally have the opportunity to end you two myself!”

Puffing out his chest, Ratchet faces the villain’s declarations with all the poise and certainty one expects of a true hero. “That’s not gonna happen, Nefarious. Whatever schemes you’ve got going this time won’t work. Give up already!”

Nefarious sneers at the tone. “Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Very well, you’re welcome to try and stop me!” The door opens, and the heroes move inside as speakers echo across the halls with maniacal laughter.

The troops inside are quickly disposed of, but the little robot gives a hum of concern. “I am unsure if this is a trap or not. Where are all of the guards? The patrols seem unusually thin.”

Searching the halls for the correct door panel, Ratchet eases his friend’s worries. “Ah, you worry too much, Clank. Besides, even if there’s some surprise attack or something, we can handle it.” His thoughts move to the task at hand. _Now where is that office?_

The target is found, and Clank gets to work on the next lock. “Hm, this encryption is far more complicated than the last. It will take some time before I can release the lock.”

The lombax looks around, confirming that the area is safe. “Looks like we took out the last of the troops on the way here, and the Rangers can clean up the rest. I’ll try to find another way in while you work on that.”

The tiny warbot stops his hack for a moment, tilting his optic covers as if raising an eyebrow at the request. “Are you sure it is wise to separate on a mission this crucial, Ratchet?”

“I know what I’m doing, trust me. I’ll be back before you’re done.”

Clank nods, returning to his task. “Very well, Ratchet. Please be careful, and call for reinforcements if you need them. I will keep an eye on my surroundings, but bear in mind that the split in my focus will slow me down.”

“Will do.” The lombax turns away from his friend, and runs down the hallway looking for another way in.

Nefarious watches the squishy intently as he scans the walls and ceilings. With a smirk, the doctor presses a button on his computer panel.

With a hiss and a puff of smoke, a panel in the wall opens, large enough for Ratchet to crawl through. “That works.”

The villain waits patiently, listening for the shuffle of something moving through the vents.

 _Thunk, thunk, thunk._ “ _There you are_ ,” the robot growls lowly. The vent panel is opened. For a moment, a striped tail swings lazily from the ceiling. It disappears, and the rest of the body attached descends from the vents with a flip.

The lombax gives Nefarious his best confident smirk. “So, did ya miss me, doc?”

A sharpened claw flies next to Ratchet, stopping at the wall he’s standing in front of. “Shut up, space rat.”

The hero leans forward, standing on his tiptoes as he leans into Nefarious’ audio sensors. “ _Then make me.”_

The larger robot slams his face into Ratchet’s, using his claws to pin the organic’s wrists to the wall. The kisses are rough, powerful, and the resulting fire in his body makes the lombax squirm.

In between kisses, Ratchet barely has the time to breathe out a sentence. “Clank’ll…” Another kiss. “The doors…” A bite on his neck causes him to let out a sharp gasp. “F-fi _ve_ minutes, tops,” he moans.

“I’ll only need three to have you begging for mercy,” Nefarious claims.

The mechanic wraps his legs around the taller metal frame, and the doctor’s claws lift him to a better height to continue their business.

The whole ‘hero versus villain’ thing can be so tiring of an act to keep up at times.

The doctor applies just enough pressure to barely scrape through the armor, as if a fatal swipe barely missed his back. The pain mixes with pleasure, and his squishy hisses at the sensation. “Your little sidekick still hasn’t figured it out?”

“N-no. I don’t think so,” Ratchet sighs. The kisses continue, bringing content hums to his throat.

The contents of Nefarious’ cluttered desk are thrown to the floor. As far as anyone else is concerned, the paperwork and knickknacks were scattered in a shootout that damaged the furniture and caused quite a stir.

The organic is placed on the flat, wooden surface. Gloved hands explore his metal torso, as much as possible before he forcefully pushes his squishy onto his back. The robot looms over the smaller form, his optics staring right into green eyes, half-lidded with anticipation. “What fools you surround yourself with. You really should consider working for me.” 

Ratchet’s body trembles as the doctor continues his speech, metal fingertips lightly grazing his chest. “Your talents in mechanical engineering are wasted on dusty old ships.”

With shaking breath, the lombax smirks. “And let an organic work in your ranks?” With a swift movement, he twists himself out of his position, kicking off of the desk to knock Nefarious to the floor. “Plus, there’s the whole ‘hero’ thing. It’d be a scandal that ruins us both.”

Ratchet goes to town on the villain, kissing and licking the robot’s face and chest in all the right places. “True, and I couldn’t make you a robot. If I did,” With a devilish grin, Nefarious pushes the smaller one off of him with ease. “I couldn’t do _this._ ”

…

Clank checks over his shoulders, confirming that he is the only presence in the halls at the moment. “I hope Ratchet is doing alright. I am almost through the door, and I can meet up with him afterwards.”

As soon as the worried thought leaves his metal lips, a groan of pain echoes through active speakers. “Ratchet?!”

Worry takes over the little robot’s processors, overriding caution in favor of hacking speed. “Do not worry, Ratchet. I will assist you soon!”

The speakers activate again. “ _I’ll silence you for good if you don’t shut up.”_ This time, it sounds as if his friend is struggling to breathe, along with the pain. Knowing Ratchet, it can be assumed that the lombax said something snarky to the villain that wasn’t taken well. _Nefarious intends to suffocate him! Hold on, Ratchet!_

 _97 percent...98...99…_ With a click, the lock is released. In horror, Clank’s fears are confirmed. Ratchet’s armor is damaged, and he’s currently pinned to the doctor’s desk with cold claws at his throat. “Unhand Ratchet, Nefarious!”

Nefarious quickly unlatches his hands from the lombax’s neck, jumping back in shock at the sight of Clank. “Y-you!”

A wrench smacks against the larger bot’s side, and the surprise causes his balance to falter a bit. Quick to recover, Ratchet rubs his sore neck and gives Clank an awkward smile. “T-thanks for the save, pal. Grab the disc and let’s get outta here!”

Clank scans the pile of items on the floor, and the data disk is one of them. As he picks it up, Ratchet lifts him to the harness with a practiced flick. The duo leaves the base as quickly as they arrived.

On the transport home, Clank scolds Ratchet for his recklessness as he texts an unmarked number. 

_R: Sorry for the surprise wrench smack at the end, babe._

_N: You pressed the mic button on my desk, you fool. Twice! Of course your little friend heard the noises you were making._

_R: Today was quiet compared to last time, I know how loud you like it ;)_

_N:You nearly blew our cover, you moronic squishy! I could actually kill you for that._

_R: Maybe that’s half the thrill. You know you still love me tho ;P_

Nefarious sighs in defeat. Yup, there’s no way he could kill his squishy.

_N:It’s far too fun to play with your stupid squishy desires._

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to use this notes tab to share a headcanon of mine. Clank's lie detector from ToD has a weakness, and that weakness is lies of omission and phrases with a double meaning. In this fic, Ratchet never once lies to Clank; he just isn't specific about what he's up to. In this way, his words pass the lie detector test and Clank is none the wiser about his true intentions.


End file.
